Temu SlopThe Human Dog Bed: Finally, Permission
A 71-inch faux fur dog bed sized for adult humans. Six hundred people have reviewed it. None of them are dogs.
Temu Slop
Shipped direct from the algorithm's subconscious.
Temu Slop
Temu SlopThe Fake Muscle Shirt and the Age of Pretend Fitness
A shirt printed with a photograph of a better torso than yours. Official use case, per Temu: pretend fitness.
Temu SlopJeans That Are a Photograph of Jeans
Leggings printed with a photo of jeans, titled 'Not Denim' three times, like a legal settlement.
Temu SlopThe Fake Window Sticker, for Rooms That Deserve Better
A flat PVC poster of an open window onto the Mediterranean, sold as a '3D effect' for windowless rooms.
Temu SlopThe V-Line Chin Mask Is Unflavored, and Other Reassurances
A compression bandage for your skull that promises a new jawline. Its most important listed spec: Unflavored.
Temu SlopThe USB Lip Plumper Charges While You Reconsider
A rechargeable suction chamber that vacuums your lips into temporary swelling. Three adjustable settings. One inadvisable idea.
Temu SlopThe Corn Kerneler: Industrial Equipment, Says Temu
A $3.99 plastic ring that removes corn from corn. Filed by Temu, without irony, under industrial products.
Temu SlopThe Last Respectable Gnome on Temu
A tie-dye resin gnome flashing a peace sign, sole survivor of Temu's criminal gnome dynasty.
Temu SlopThe Lion Mane Cat Wig Requires No Batteries
A polyester mane that turns your cat into a tiny furious lion. The listing's proudest spec: it doesn't need batteries.
Temu SlopThe Watermelon Cat Helmet Comes in One Size and Also Three
A plush watermelon slice strapped to a cat's head. Size: one-size. Sizes: small, medium, large.
Temu SlopThe Glow-in-the-Dark Duck Head Is Menswear Now
A full-head latex duck mask, marketed to men specifically, styled 'Cute', and it glows in the dark.
Temu SlopThe Self-Stirring Mug Automates Your Weakest Moment
A motorized mug that stirs your coffee for you, reclaiming the two hardest seconds of your morning.
Temu SlopThe hacmart Watch Ultra and the Power of Al Vocie
An Apple Watch Ultra clone from the brand 'hacmart', whose flagship feature is spelled 'al vocie'.
Temu SlopThe 100,000mAh Power Bank Argues With Its Own Title
Is it 80,000mAh or 100,000mAh? The title lists both. Physics votes for neither.
Temu SlopThe EMS Belt Burns Fat, Says Everyone Except Physiology
A six-pad shock belt sold as a 'fat burning device', bundled with a spray that quietly admits the sting.
Temu SlopThe Ultrasonic Pest Repeller Lists Mice Twice
Six wall plugs that claim to repel every pest known to science, using a mechanism science says repels none of them.
Temu SlopThe 9D Stereo Earbuds Are Seven Dimensions Ahead of Audio
Earbuds whose model year increments itself annually and whose headline spec is '9D stereo'. Stereo has two channels.
Temu SlopThe WiFi Ear Camera Comes With Six Spoons
A WiFi otoscope that livestreams the inside of your ear canal in claimed 1080p. Accessories: six spoons.
Temu SlopThe 990,000mAh Jump Starter Contains a Small Sun
It claims the energy of eight car batteries and the current of an arc welder, in a flashlight.
Temu SlopThe Laser Welder Contains No Laser, Confesses Own Listing
An 'industrial laser welding machine' that is, per its own spec sheet, a butane soldering iron in a costume.